


Discouraged

by BarbaLovesCarisi (CaptainAmericasShield)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Also mention of Olivia Benson, Barba explains an old case, Established Relationship, Honestly I'm just here for ADA Carisi, I just want my son to do well, M/M, Mention of Alex Cabot and Casey Novak (who are totally married by the way), Rafael Barba is a supportive husband, Sonny Carisi Deserves Better 2kForever, and Jack McCoy, warning: brief mention of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-29 19:26:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21415414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainAmericasShield/pseuds/BarbaLovesCarisi
Summary: Carisi goes home to Barba after being blindsided in Arraignments.  Again.  He’s feeling discouraged and starts to question if he really is suited for being an ADA.  Rafael comforts him and convinces him he’s wrong and things would get better.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	Discouraged

**Author's Note:**

> My poor son got stabbed in the back in Arraignments twice in a row and I hate that for him. Actual Ray of Sunshine Sonny Carisi deserves better, fight me. Huge shoutout to my beta reader mgarner1227, I appreciate you :)

Rafael Barba sat on the couch reading over notes his husband Sonny Carisi had given him to check over. He heard the key turn in the lock and the door open before slamming shut moments later.

“Dominick?” Rafael called out, standing up and putting the casenotes on the coffee table, then walking over to the door.

“Hey Rafa,” Sonny replied. He looked tired and defeated.

“Bad day mi amor?” Rafael asked, leaning up and giving him a quick kiss.

“Feds took the Chang case,” he said with a sigh. “This is the second time I’ve been completely blindsided in arraignments in the last _ month _.”

“You’re discouraged.”

“I am. Please don’t tell me you can’t see _ why _ I’m discouraged. Maybe I wasn’t ready for this.”

Rafael sighed and led his husband over to the couch.

“Sit,” he commanded, patting the cushion next to him.

Sonny sat down next to Rafael and turned to look at him.

“I don’t know about this job Rafa.”

“Dominick, mi amor, I know you’re frustrated, I know you’re feeling discouraged, but these things happen. It’s happened to all of the best ADAs. Things happen in court - you’re blindsided, you lose a witness, you have evidence or testimony excluded. The first DA I worked under told me this when I had an early case go south _ fast _. She told me things like this happen. It’s not very often, but these things do happen. I know it feels terrible, and I know you just want to drown your sorrows, but I promise you things will get better. The cases we lose, the mistakes we make, they all make us better prosecutors in the end. If they don’t, then, and only then, can you say maybe this isn’t for you.”

“You almost quit?”

Rafael sighed. He had only hinted at a case that had gone downhill fast, he never told Dominick what actually happened.

“It was a long time ago, one of the first cases I prosecuted on my own. Triple homicide, all three victims were under 10. All three victims were raped then mutilated almost beyond recognition. Somehow it had come to the defense attorney’s attention that evidence had been planted at the crime scene. I had no knowledge of this. Defense moved to have all DNA evidence excluded. That was what my case was built on, and the defense knew that. Judge granted the motion, I tried to get a continuance, but was denied. Defense moved to dismiss with prejudice, which, of course, was granted. I hated myself. I almost quit prosecution right then, but the DA convinced me not to. Remember the case I told you has haunted me for 25 years? This was it. This is the one case I used to make me a better prosecutor. I still talk to the mothers of the victims. I gave them my cell phone number and told them to call me if they needed anything. If I had known there was any thought DNA evidence had been planted, I _ never _ would have taken the case to trial. Granted, it still probably ended up at trial- the man was a psychopath and would never have taken a deal, but it still would have given me more time to figure out what to do. _ That’s _ why I was so hard on you and the rest of the squad. I didn’t want anything like this to happen again. I needed to make sure everything was done by the books. Do not let these blindsides discourage you mi amor. I promise you it does get better.”

“Raf, I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

Rafael smiled sadly. “There’s nothing for you to apologize for. You’re still new at this. I know this is a difficult job, and at the beginning it can seem overwhelming, but you have something I didn’t at the time.”

“What’s that?”

“You have people that will always support you. I was new, I didn’t know anyone. The only support I had came from the DA and my mother. You have me, you have Alex and Casey, you have Olivia and the rest of the squad, you have your family. You’re lucky, mi amor.”

Sonny nodded. “Thank you Raf.”

“Of course. And you know I will always give you legal advice if you need it. I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone in this. I never want you to feel like you don’t have anyone to turn to. I know there’s the squad, but they will never understand what we go through as ADAs. We have our own demons to fight. I know this job is difficult. I know there are ups and downs. I know you’ll be stressed and tired and you will lose faith in humanity. I just want you to know that you're not alone. I’m here Dominick. I always will be.”

“I- I really do appreciate this Raf. I appreciate it more than you know.”

“It’ll take time for you to be completely comfortable and have your footing with this job. Please don’t ever be afraid to come ask me for advice. Believe me, I’ve seen a lot of terrible cases, and I have a lot of experience. If there’s something I can’t help you with, you also have Alex and Casey who both prosecuted for years, and if all else fails, I can talk to the DA. We’re still on good terms, so I know if I asked, or if you asked, he would talk to you.”

“You think?”

“Of course, mi amor. He can seem harsh and intimidating, but I know he has a soft side.”

“Kind of like you?” Sonny asked laughing.

Rafael smiled. “I guess you could put it that way. In all seriousness though, I know he’d be willing to talk to you.”

“Thanks Rafa.”

“Anything to help you Dominick.”

Sonny smiled and Rafael’s heart melted. That damn smile made him soft and Sonny knew that.

“I really do appreciate everything you’re doing to help me.”

“Dominick, you’re my husband. I want to help you. I want to see you succeed. If you truly don’t think you’re cut out for this job, I’m not going to make you stay. I’m just asking you to give it another chance.”

“I don’t feel like you’re trying to force me to stay Raf, I hope you know that.”

“I’d hoped I didn’t come across that way, I just wanted to make sure you knew that.”

“I know,” Sonny said, turning and putting his head on Rafael’s shoulder. “I love you Raf.”

“I love you too Dominick,” Rafael replied softly, kissing the top of his head. 

Sonny closed his eyes and sighed. He felt lucky to have Rafael by his side, and he knew that if he ever felt discouraged, Rafael would be there by his side, always supporting him, no matter what.


End file.
